How to Make FADS™

A History Lesson (TIMESKIP EDITION): Fads goes to Dave’s Quality Meat pt.2

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Don’t get confused people. The following occurred after my trip to banksy’s biz, the rest of which you will read about in a post that is written AFTER this one. Oops, do I sense confusion? bite me. 

After the Banksy Farm, because I was in the [relative] area, I decided to check back on some homies. On the way i ran into the parade, I guess it must’ve started early or something.

pigpen

Hours of walking (not really) over to the east side, and I reached the familiar inverted-stoop (also a year-round entrance and summertime lunch patio) to everyone’s favorite cellar of stuff. You guessed it, and if you didn’t, get some glasses and look at the title of this post because i’m not going to waste time doing your thinking for you, especially after I clearly wasted MY OWN time writing that brilliant, insightful analogy.

Once again, Carl was there (word? dude’s ALWAYS there) workin out biz and whatever

storeworksTANGENT TIME

mysteries-of-the-beyondHey DQM I like the vinyl waterfall door, but give it to me straight, do you ever have to wipe it down? I’m serious because when you think about it, wouldn’t it get kinda bleh from dudes walking in and out of it all day every day and making it progressively grimy? I digress though. Thats not what the picture is about, its actually about the mysteries of what’s beyond the waterfall. Im sure everyone who walks in your store feels like running in there grabbing shit and dipping to check out the inner workings and whatever.

Anyway i was chilling and all of a sudden, Dave walked in and I was like “HOLY SHIT ITS MAG PITCH TIME AGAIN” but dude was putting on a mexican wrestling mask, and that was taking him a while because of the mask’s temporary incompatibility with Dave’s hair and glasses. Honestly, I’ve been there before too. Hair and headgear piss each other off, so Its best to let them fuck each other up and move on with your fucked up hair and your fucked up headgear and call it a day because in the end, it’s whatever dude, take it easy.

Mag pitch time came around and it was cool, I got a chill green light from the Ortizian to conduct more business in the future. Awesome. I got a couple of pics and a couple of FRANKs and I was outta there. Thanks half a month late.

moneyshotkindofYo, every time i walk in there, I get somber life lessons from the crew. Elaboration later, my minds on the Yatagan’s I ate after the store.

myataganDude. Mamoun’s better have beef because their schwarma can’t touch the Doner sandwich these motherfuckers make.

Written by Sulky

November 19, 2008 at 11:19 pm

A History Lesson: Fads goes to the Banksy Farm

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All of this is like, half a month late, hahaha.

 Banksy was in New York last month and set off a bunch of unadulterated unexpectedness. Not that anyone expected anything else. But anyway, from that unexpectedness jumped The Village Pet Store and Grill (Henceforth referred to as Banksy Farm) and since I’d never seen any banksy stuff in person, I wanted to investigate.

sturfrunt2

I won’t go into extreme detail about Banksy but I will tell you something that happened on my way to the Banksy Farm, and you dont often hear Brooklynites saying this, but I got lost. Two times. That’s embarrassing. Because everyone has stuff to do in the city, people from the other boroughs take pride in the fact that they know the geography of wherever they’re from in addition to that of manhattan. I dont know if it’s the result of some sort of locationary inferiority complex (or if “locationary” is even a word) but I feel like i’m not doing my job as a smart american if i loose my way around a city that has a crazily expansive subway system. But really, holy fuck. Since when is there a south seventh avenue? The first time I tried finding the pet store I got all chafy and wind frozen at seventh and fifteenth street and the second time I walked halfway to broadway from west fourth before circling around and finally getting to where i wanted to go. Was I kidding myself? Dude, FDS. What’s worse, this billboard popped up out of nowhere as I was walking east on houston. Thanks Banks, way to be a jerk (just to clarify, banksy, if you’re reading this, that was a joke).

o-marks-the1

So yeah, i got there but my phone was out of battery so I got no pics taken and had to wait till my next visit to write about it. As you can see from the pic at the top, I made it back on halloween and there was a ridiculous line for no reason, the reason being that it was the shop’s last hour of existence. Wow. I wasn’t the last one in the store, but I definitely was the last one out and I happen to be very proud of that fact. Thats no bullshitting. On the reals yo. Word. Dead ass. I was like, mad hype and shit, ‘cus like, stuff was crazy yo. It was OD like Jesus on crack. Bam.

Ill write the rest  later because I wanna get a post up before my fucking birthday.

Way to be THAT GUY…

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…People who read gun magazines in public. I’m not saying you can’t or shouldn’t do it, I mean everyone has a hobby and marksmanship is one the oldest and most influential ones the world has ever known. Hunting with bows & arrows sustained ancient civilizations and, to this day, wars fought using all sorts of missile-based weapons have defined the present era as we know it. However, If people see you reading handgun magazine in the corner of the tiny, little, cramped box of space that happens to be a NYC subway car, nobody will EVER want to pat you on the back for defining history, much less making them uncomfortable. This guy got lucky though. At least he didnt put himself in a situation as equally awkward as this bald, middle-aged, depressed looking man did, reading sex for dummies one day in a particularly crowded car on the 2. Tons of funny looks and angered mothers of small childeren (the book was illustrated). To end on a positive note though, if you keep it off the train, more people will like you, but if you dont, you keep New York the way it is. Thats a win/win by the way so everything’s cool, don’t worry about it.

Written by Sulky

November 1, 2008 at 8:00 pm

FADS goes to MoMA

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So I thought id go to the BK Museum (sounds like an antiquated hamburger) day before yesterday because of the day off. I forgot that it was closed Mondays and Tuesdays. Nice one, Brooklyn museum I was counting on you, way to be a jerk. Anyway, didn’t have to spend too much time thinking before I realized that my best bet would be to check out the Museum of Modern Art. I couldn’t remember the last time I had gone so I was looking forward to what I’d been missing out on

When I got to the general area, the first thing I noticed was this enclosure over here, right outside of the museum

I got into MoMA through their gift shop (I’ll definitely be doing that more often) and looked around. Note to everybody: the Moma store is sick, its like a huge version of the one at the Cooper-Hewitt museum, that, for those of you who don’t know, stocks anything that looks nice and functions well at the same time. Basically, its a design museum in itself but for people who want to buy shit.

I’d honestly have to recommend you visit on a weekday because when I was there, everything was packed full of new yorkers and tourists alike.

I think Its pretty funny when you’re in a tight space and you don’t know what language to use when maneuvering around crowds of people. At the same time i think Its actually funnier when you realize that even if you did know what language to use, you probably couldn’t because you wouldn’t know how to speak it in the first place. Think about that.

Checking out the museum was fun but I was still there for the sake of the business, so I managed to find my way over to the info desk where it seemed feasible to introduce the magazine to the museum. Wits about me, I took a breath got what I came to do over with.

Jason, the guy looking busy over there on the right, heard me out and let me know how to get my press kit. Dude even printed me out a courtesy ticket that I had thirty minutes left to use. Awesome. The MoMA information duo of Jason and Dory, pictured above looking happy over there on the left, wished me luck and i was on my way. Thanks guys.

I swear, doing the whole indie-journalist thing is really something else, you actually get somewhat of a rush when you go places to talk to people about your project because how you present it and yourself constitutes how seriously you’re taken. So tension gone, I was relieved as hell after talking to the info desk and ready to check out the the outdoor exhibit I noticed earlier.

For some reason my brain told me that what I was looking for was in a courtyard, even though I saw the exhibit OUTside of the museum, and ended up in Moma’s Sculpture Garden. [st]Oops.

The scene was cool I guess, but I didn’t see any temporary marvels of modern architecture, nor did I see any indicators pointing to them. Very helpful, Moma, very helpful. I can easily find my way to your gelato but not your feature exhibit, that’s perfect, good job.

Looking for prefabricated buildings, not prefabricated diabetes.

Found it anyway

All I had to do was actually exit the museum. My bad Moma, sorry about that, “Comprerò il vostro gelato dopo domani, scusi, scusi.”

Needless to say, it was great, I mean you’ll read about the whole thing in THE PREMIERE ISSUE OF FADS™ but here’s a brief rundown.

There were like 5 pieces on display and to tell you the truth, they all had their ups and downs but as far as aesthetics go it was all ups.

One note to the designers of this guy though, shredded tuna already has a home, I don’t know how a person cold live in this thing without a chiropractor.

This stove was a hit… so was the drawer underneath it.

this floor was by far one of the most interesting I had seen all day.

this deck was unusually relaxing.

Overall it was a nice re-introductory to MoMA, especially seeing as I hadn’t stepped into any individual gallery let alone hall of the museum. Well be going back soon.

Written by Sulky

October 15, 2008 at 5:27 pm

Bob has a Controversial Ideology on Matching

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Is there someone else besides Sulky ACTUALLY writing for FADS™?

The answer is yes and his name is Bob except its not really bob but you get the picture and this picture is striking like lightning thats lightening the metaphorical skies that are representative of your mind’s concepts of their fashion senses that incenses Bob to unleash knowledge that turns into your future common sense’s sense of common style.

You thought you were reading prose but you got a poem instead. How about that…

Bravo Bob, on concretely joining the team.

Written by FADS Administration

October 13, 2008 at 8:55 pm

Posted in P.S.A.s from FADS

FADS goes to Wealthy Hostage pt.1

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So in addition to writing about awesome stores we all know and love, we’ll also have an additional focus on stores in everyone’s favorite borough, Staten Island… except not really (its Brooklyn).

Thats why I took a small trip to a small spot on the big avenue of Church. Now Church av. itself is relatively loud and crowded with tons of stores all over including one that makes the best roti in brooklyn.

I’m sure that right now, somewhere around the world, seven Trinidadians and two Jamaicans are yelling at me about better places that serve west-Indian food but i really don’t care. I didn’t come from any island besides Manhattan, so Ram’s Roti is good enough.

Anyway across the street lies Wealthy Hostage.

Its a store that, if a williamsburgian rate of gentrification hit the area, probably wouldnt close within the year. Its a mostly streetwear place, but like all streetwear places, its slowly becoming more and more un-streetwear, if that makes any sense. So I stepped in, checked the stock and found my main man[ager] hard at work, these guys dont play.

So they were mad cool AND cool with future interviews, In FACT, this dude even hooked me up with some free magazines before i split, ironic, but very much appreciated, so thanks.

“couple blocks to the subway and im gone, so either love or leave me alone” – jay-z, i think

[update] apparently its wasnt jay-z originally but some nubian dude…

Written by Sulky

October 4, 2008 at 1:48 pm

Way to be THAT GUY…

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…People who pretend they like standing up on the subway as a free seat looks them square in the face.

Go ahead, read that paper. You seem so comfortable that you wont mind it when the train stops abruptly and you, stumbling around with your balance lost just like the intellegent person you happen to be, casually step on an old lady trying to make it to her eighty-sixth birthday in one piece as she curses you out in Russian.

Written by Sulky

September 23, 2008 at 2:18 pm